I got up this morning and looked at the time on the clock.
"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me."
"Come on - we've got to go - NOW!"
His demanding voice pierced through what was left of my sleepy haze and I found myself remembering again all of the reasons that I hated my life...remembering all of the reasons that I hated him.
As I lifted my head from the pillow and forced myself into an upright position I found my head spinning with a 100 different things that I could say...
"Fuck You."
"Go to Hell."
"Die."
But when my mouth finally opened, the only thing that came out was a sleepy "I'm coming..."
The very words leaving my lips made me feel dirty, as if I had somehow been transformed into some kind of submissive, pathetic, 1950's style woman.
"Should I suck your dick with that?"
Every minute that goes by I find myself hating him more. Hating him for the life he stole from me. Hating him for not letting me go. Hating him for trapping me in a situation that I can't escape from. Hating him mostly because the only alternative is to hate myself for allowing it all to happen.
"I mean it, we have to go - NOW!"
"Shut the fuck up you life sucking piece of shit!"
"Yes honey, I'm coming."
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
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