Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Life Sucker

I got up this morning and looked at the time on the clock.

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me."

"Come on - we've got to go - NOW!"

His demanding voice pierced through what was left of my sleepy haze and I found myself remembering again all of the reasons that I hated my life...remembering all of the reasons that I hated him.

As I lifted my head from the pillow and forced myself into an upright position I found my head spinning with a 100 different things that I could say...

"Fuck You."

"Go to Hell."

"Die."

But when my mouth finally opened, the only thing that came out was a sleepy "I'm coming..."

The very words leaving my lips made me feel dirty, as if I had somehow been transformed into some kind of submissive, pathetic, 1950's style woman.

"Should I suck your dick with that?"

Every minute that goes by I find myself hating him more. Hating him for the life he stole from me. Hating him for not letting me go. Hating him for trapping me in a situation that I can't escape from. Hating him mostly because the only alternative is to hate myself for allowing it all to happen.

"I mean it, we have to go - NOW!"

"Shut the fuck up you life sucking piece of shit!"

"Yes honey, I'm coming."